June 12,
2008
Dear
Diary,
Strange
happ'nins. Shooter's in the house
and never gets to play, Lucky's a
grumpy old mama who won't let me
near her babies. And I, me, the
shadow of Mom *have* to sleep
outside and guard the chickens. I
don't get my spot on Mom's dirty
clothes pile--I have to sleep under
the porch. There's spiders down
there!
Good
thing is that I've been getting to
go to see the ladies with Dad--when
Dad has time to go to the pasture.
Dad's been busy with some other
new ladies that I don't get to see
yet....humpf. But when we go to the
pasture I get to ride on the red
stinky noisy crawler and get MUDDY!
I love MUD! Then I get to bark at
the ladies and make them mind Dad.
Today we
were sittin' in the yard. Shooter
got to come for a visit, even if he
had to stay in the cage. He hates
the cage. I hate him being in the
cage. I want to run and play with
him. We started hearing the "hip
hip heya" of Steve and Luke moving
the ladies! Without us! Shooter
started whining and carrying on like
a sissy boy. I ran around trying to
find the work. And I found it! I
told those stubborn girls to MOVE!
Okay, so maybe they moved in the
wrong direction--but they MOVED by
golly! I think I learned a new
word.
We moved
those girls into the corral just as
the skies opened up and God made
some MUD for me! We ordered the
ladies through the chute and they
got poked and I bit 'em on the
buttocks when they froze up. It was
great fun even if Dad hollered at me
sometimes not to bite their noses
when they had their heads stuck in
that big metal gate.
Then the
excitement began. We were nearly
through with our work and I was
getting a little bit tired and ready
to go check on my sissy boy Shooter
who was surely hiding from the rain
in the cellar. Then six of those
stewpid ladies decided they were too
hot and went for a swim in the
stinky poop pit! I hollered at 'em
not to go in there....but they
didn't listen. Stewpid girls didn't
know that it was so sticky and mucky
in there. I even heard tell of
boggy monsters that would suck you
down!
Dad and
Steve and Luke didn't know what to
do. They yelled and through rocks
trying to get those dumb girls out
of the pit! They wouldn't budge.
They just gave up and decided to
sink. "Swim!" "Swim!" But they are
stewpid, and just a little stubborn
and gave up.
Then
Lukey had the bright idea of how I
could save the day. He decided to
build a boat! (No, we did not go
two-by-two!) Lukey always gets
teased. Everyone knows that the
person standing next to Luke always
has a good idea. This idea was
crazy! Luke got the plastic
rectangle tub that Dad puts that
rotten sulfur in and the ladies walk
through it. I think he calls it a
"footbath". Anyhoo, Lukey decides
to float me out onto the shit pit in
the footbath! I'm so ready for
those dratted girls to get back to
the pasture that I'll try anything.
And, did I mention, I LOVE mud. The
stinkier the better. So they get me
in the footbath and pull me out to
the the sunken ladies and I bite em!
I bite em! I bite em! I love bitin'
em! They move out--anything to get
away from my chompers, he he. But
uh oh. There I am left in the pit!
Stuck. Stuck. Stuck.
I
worried. I fretted. But I knew not
to jump out! Dad finally came to
the rescue. He drove out to get me
with the vroomy skid steer (and
people think poop stinks--what do
they know?) and reached the bucket
out for me. Woo Hoo! I jumped in
that life saver bucket and was
saved. SAVED, I say. He rode me
out to dry land.
So,
tonight I'm wearing the most
fragrant perfume. I am completely
irresistable. But my sissy boy is
back inside and I'm banned. Mom
says I stink.
I think
I'm perdy.
Yours
Truly,
Blonde
Haired Angel 40 PRN
(Yes,
I'm a Dirty Blonde, but I smell
lovely)
